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On your Mark, get set, Glo...

Felix was the page front desk checking people in today. I told him I liked his hair cut; he thanked me for pointing out the guy who was using his phone inside the studios. I’m starting to feel like I’m an honorary page. The few, the proud, the Pages! Just then, Becky walks by with a "Hi GloZell". That girl is great! She makes up for Mr. Beam’s coldness. While Kate and Becky were talking to me, this guy Mark from the O.C. overheard that I go to the Jay Leno show everyday. He sat next to me in the lobby and asked me why I was there. I told him about my blog and he promised to read it. (You better leave me a comment, Mark.)

I listened to two, cute, old men talking about Superman, and they were getting frustrated with one another .

Guy 1." Hey did you hear that George Reeves is doing a movie?"
Guy 2. "Yes! …Wait who is that?"
Guy 1." Superman!"
Guy 2. "Oh".
Guy 1." Isn’t he dead? "
Guy 1." Yes" .
Guy 2." Well, how is he going to do the movie?"

They went on and on, I was cracking up. Guy 1 and 2 started talking about how they were going to stop watching the Tonight Show when Conan takes over, and how Conan makes them sick. I know change is hard, but I bet people thought that they wouldn’t like Jay after Johnny Carson.

It’s time to line up. I should get a little ticket today, my hair is done, and my dress is so short I pray that no wind blows my dress up because all God’s creation will see my tushy! I’m first in line and Mr. Beam makes his daily announcements. He turns to me, with his eyes not making contact, and hands me a ticket without the little yellow one, oh well, I guess I’ ll show up in my draws tomorrow!

Also, while we’re still in the lobby, there’s a woman trying to secretly take pictures of the posters on the walls of the different NBC shows. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that she is allowed to take pictures in the lobby. I’d hate to see her at Blockbusters!

Wow, I’m first in line, again! A little birdie told me that it really does matter where you are in line to get the best seats. I get around the corner and there’s about twenty people ahead of me from Popular Mechanics magazine… In the back I sit, again. Mark, his beautiful wife and family, wave from the front seats, I’m happy he got great seats right by the band. I sat behind a woman combing her mullet! I spend 300 dollars on weave and I sit behind a #@$*%^ mullet.

Before the show there’s a warm up where some guys (I think they’re crew members) who hang at the show, pick people out of the audience to dance, and in return, they get T-shirts. To my surprise, most of the random people picked out to dance happen to always be young blondes with short skirts or big boobs or both. I, GloZell Green, have gone to pert near 30 shows and because of my heritage and some serious junk in my trunk… no free T-shirt for me, I’ll be lucky if I can get an employees discount on Tonight Show socks.

Wait! The people further down in my row just took a picture! They’re not supposed to do that! Oh, I wish I could arrest them. I sat next to the nicest woman ever, she told me her name was Mary. Mary seemed to know a lot about the show. It turns out her husband, Mr. Jim Shaughnessy, is a very talented writer who works for Jay! Wow! Her husband has Muscular Dystrophy, and Jay allows him to work from home. If you didn’t love Jay Leno before, please love him now. Right now, I tell you!

Next to her was a beautiful young blonde (who was the one picked to dance - surprise!) She showed me pictures of her and a Oscar winning comic she use to date. The strange part wasn’t the fact that she happened to have pictures in her purse of them together, or the fact that I have dated him also, ( He won an Oscar but he didn’t know what to do with my Golden Globes) but that she was with her current boyfriend and showing me a stranger her pictures with an Ex. Wow!

Ms. V. or should I say Ms. Celie looked a hot mess tonight! What’s up with that? Did she forget that this is a TV Show? Maybe she was running late. First let me state that Ms. V is beautiful, and her usually wild mane is out… but today… She had that jive pulled back in two plaits, and this black net thing across the front, and little to no make up. She was also wearing a light peach shirt that showed her arm sweat. If she was trying not to outshine Jessica Simpson today - congratulations! If she wasn’t playing with the band, Mr. Beam definitely wouldn’t give her a little yellow ticket today.

Jessica was gorgeous, as usual. This chick was in a Marilyn Monroe type black dress, with a looooong split up the front, and beautiful red bottom black shoes that had diamonds down the front. Jessica’s hair was short and stunning. Her skin was tan and had a great shine. Her looks made up for her interview. Jay was truly working it the best he could. During the breaks, Ms. Simpson waved and shook hands with people in the audience. That was really nice of her. Out of all the shows I’ve ever been to, that was the first time a guest has done that. Jessica is cool with me.

And remember, if you can’t be good, be good at it!

Love ya,