New Videos

Miss G.L.G…

Outside in line I met Bryan, the talent coordinator for the "Tonight Show with Jay Leno". Guess what? He is black! Bryan is young and is a nice, cute light skin brother. Light skin isn’t in right now. But don’t worry Bryan, it’s making a comeback. (Thanks to Terence Howard). I wish I met Bryan before I gave up black men, oh well.

In the studio audience, there were 51 Miss USA contestants and the reigning Miss USA. The one who made out with Miss Teen USA and went to rehab. She looked like she’s a real "Ich bey". She’s just mad that she is back to her pre-coke weight.

They were beautiful, but most of them didn’t have two things that matched, beautiful face, and no boobs, or big boobs and no behind.

The ladies had fake tan stuff on their skin. (Except the sisters)

The women had little to nothing on. They froze! (Ha, Ha) It was like a room full of Barbie Popsicles.

Miss Carolina was nice and spoke to the people in the first row.

Miss Idaho breasts were just as fake as a box of Idaho potatoes.

Miss Washington was chubby and needed a weave.

Miss Delaware needed some lotion on her extra dry elbows.

GloZell’s Ghetto Gorgeous tip. Go to the 99-cent store and get those sponges with the one ruff side. The ones that are used to clean pots. Use that in the shower. Wash with the sponge part and scrub your crusty feet, elbows, and knees with the ruff part, okay.

Miss Louisiana was a little scary looking in the face. (Maybe, she got caught in Katrina)

Miss GloZell Lyneette Green needs to stop hating on prettier girls.

The only pageant I ever won was for my church; I looked good in the sexy choir robe competition.

The contestants had a body guard, the traditional extra large bald black guy that is too big and too old to out run anybody, if he had to.


Minnie Driver scratched her arm and leg and flipped her hair the whole time. (Hey Minnie, they make powders and creams that can take care of that kind of any itch.) She has masculine hands, forearms, and at midnight, I think she turns into a man. Over all, she is a great actress and yada yada.

Bailee Madison, is a 7 year old actress. She was very cute. Come back when your Dakota Fanning.

Finger Eleven was the musical guest. They rocked out. It looked liked the lead singer was high, and the longhaired guitarist looked like he was having a seizures. They had a solid sound and I wish them well.

Remember, Beauty is in the eye of the beholder…

LoVe Ya,