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Strawberry, Midgets, Tanorexia, and Glo...

I got in line at 10:00 AM, nobody else was in line till about 1 pm. Nobody wanted to see Dan Rather in fact people gave me their tickets when they found out who the guest was today. As I sat outside feeling like a fool, asking myself why do I do this? Will I ever be a Tonight Show with Jay Leno" correspondent? I’m so bored today! Just then, a family of midgets came walking by. It was a sign from God.

I don’t’ think I have ever see midgets outside on a family outing before? They were on vacation from Wisconsin.

There was mama midget, papa midget, and baby midget. They sat in line with me. I told them they couldn’t bring the baby into the show. The mother said, "He’s 16 years old". Oops, my bad. They didn’t get in because they didn’t have I.D. proving that he was 16 and not a baby. Sorry little man.

The Dwarves didn’t like it when I asked them if they knew how to make cookies like the other elves. (Midgets don’t have a since of humor) I will make it up to them. When I get on the show, I will thank all the "Little People".

I like Little People except Smitty. (The Tonight Show with Jay Leno drummer)

I sat next to Paul Fowler and his son Brad Fowler. Paul is a cool dad. He takes his children on a one on one vacation every year. They live in Salt Lake Utah. Brad is 21 years old, lives on his own and has a great job at UPS. So this trip was extra special to Paul who doesn’t get to see his son as much as he would like.

I also met Angela and Greg who befriended a girl who had crack head tendencies in ticket line at 8:00 AM. Out of the blue was this mess of a girl who said she was on "America’s Next Top Model" jumped in the front of the line next to Angela. Her name was Strawberry. I told her to get to the back of the line, and she cussed me out.

Strawberry said she was an actress with the hunger in her eyes. (And I think weed in her system)

Some of the people in line said she was smoking pot in line, before the door opens to get tickets this morning.

I told her the back of the line is VIP and then I walked her back there and she stayed.

Then a lady who looked like she could be my cousin from the back, turned around and she was a white woman. I have never seen a white person with leather raw hide looking skin. She was a slap mess. Angela just looked at her in disgust. She looked like she could be made into a jacket. She must tan in a microwave. Please get help, or at least some sunscreen.


Dan Rather. I thought he died a long time a go, so I guess he looked good.

Andrew Zimmern. Eats exotic foods. Jay, Andrew, and Dan ate crickets. (Yuck)

Lloyd was the musical guest. I was guessing if he was a boy or girl, Indian or black. He truly was a guess. I grew up with Michael Jackson, so he didn’t do it for me but Angela was jamming the whole time.

Remember the fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree…

LoVe ya,